I didn't worry about writing the story.
It was nice.
It was mine.
Maybe I'll tell more stories in 2013.
Looking back, I can see that it had been there for a while.
A feeling of unease. A mental fog.
It was easy to blame it on stress.
Work. School. Kids.
Homework. House. Animals.
Then summer came, but the feeling lingered.
I wasn't motivated to do much of anything.
It must have been latent fatigue.
So I slept. A lot.
The fog intensified.
I made myself believe that it wasn't so bad.
But one can only keep up the charade for so long.
Relaxation eluded me.
A glass of wine became glasses of wine.
I kept thinking that it would all slow down...
"Just a few more weeks and it will be better."
Those few weeks stretched on.
One foot in front of the other...just to do what I had to do.
Spent a lot of time...
I can't tell you. I don't remember.
I abandoned writing. Put my camera in its case.
It was no longer enjoyable.
I was just too tired.
But slowly, I can feel the fog beginning to lift.
The days are not so laborious.
Fewer things are missed.
We knew it was coming.
We were all hoping and praying for a miracle.
It was not meant to be...
Last week, The Mr.'s mom passed away after a valiant battle with pancreatic cancer.
It's an ugly disease.
It shows no mercy.
I regret never sharing certain things...
I'm not sure if I expressed the depths of my thanks for her son. He holds my heart and I credit her with his strength.
She always let me be me. We had differing tastes and styles, but not once did she try to change me.
I have no doubt that she loved our little family. She respected our traditions and never imposed her desires over ours.
She was a cheerleader for us all. There was never a time that she wasn't in our corner.
I am sure that she didn't realize how much she was loved.
How much she is loved, still.
My husband will miss her.
My children will miss her.
And I will miss her.
Sometimes life is just like you want it to be.
The planets align. The Fates allow.
This past weekend we went to the lake.
And it was perfect.
Beyond perfect, really.
Our fun for the day.
Lake water mixed with boat gas is intoxicating, in the best possible way.
I am now a huge fan of the windblown look.
She's not quite legal.
Neither is he.
My little ducks, all in a row.
Not so much.
This is where I'm supposed to be.
And that was just day one...
All too soon it was time to make the journey home.
I sat and took one last look around...
And my heart was full.
So full that it almost hurt.
This is home.
This is it.
This is the extent of our grandiose garden dreams.
The Girl was assigned a plant research project earlier this spring. Her heart was set on our beloved Texas state flower.
A pot was decorated.
A hole made.
Seeds dropped in...
Over 70% of all bluebonnets grown in pots fail to bloom.
Ours were part of that 70%.
Terrible odds were against us. The fact that The Boy took it upon himself to create a bluebonnet dirt volcano didn't help, either.
Maybe we will have better luck next season.
I still have grandiose garden dreams.
But it's really a blessing that they fell through this year.
We had maybe five rain showers all summer long and a seemingly endless run of 100* days. I fear that watering our crops would have landed us in the poor house.
Our plans for raised beds full of fresh cucumbers, squash, chard, okra, peas, and zucchini will continue to take shape through the cooler months ahead.
Meanwhile, I've yet to give up on fall tomatoes and herbs.
If your tooth is really, really, really loose and your mom, dad, and brother all tell you to "please pull that darn thing"...you should pull it.
Otherwise, you will be eating a pretzel and not realize it has fallen out.
And then you will swallow it.
You will be very upset.
But your mom will assure you that the Tooth Fairy will still visit as long as you leave a note: