Life Lesson

If your tooth is really, really, really loose and your mom, dad, and brother all tell you to "please pull that darn thing"...you should pull it.

Otherwise, you will be eating a pretzel and not realize it has fallen out.

And then you will swallow it.

You will be very upset.

But your mom will assure you that the Tooth Fairy will still visit as long as you leave a note:

Dear Tooth Fairy,
I lost my tooth.
I swallowed it.
There is a big hole.
Please still visit me.

Pitiful notes ensure a good pay day, by the way.

Life Lesson

If you are entertaining your little sister...

...and put on her fairy wings...

...and your mom grabs her camera and takes pictures, but promises not to put them on her blog...

...she's lying.

Life Lesson

If you decide to enjoy a glass of wine whilst folding laundry, skip the red.

Choose a Chardonnay.

Then, when you knock over your full glass of vino and it spills all over the just-folded basket of whites, it won't stain your favorite white tank top.

Or your best fitting white t-shirt.

Or all your light colored undies.

On the up-side: You are more than entitled to another glass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am still here.

Life has been keeping me busy.

That and re-washing whites.

Life Lesson

Don't tell your teacher that you aren't feeling well and that you have an older brother at home named Francis that can pick you up.

This is especially important if your mom also happens to teach at your school.

Teachers talk.

And you will get busted.

Nice try, dude.

Life Lesson

When playing Army at recess, make sure that you are far away from metal poles.

Otherwise, when you are battling the enemy, you'll run into one of them and bust your head open.

And then you'll need stitches.

The upside: double lollipops at the doctor's office and no homework.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm proud of you, man.

You are a trooper.

And thank you for not knocking out teeth or gouging out an eye.

Stitches I can deal with.

xxoo

Life Lesson

Don't try to out-wrestle your older brother.

You'll end up needing ice for your face.

Life Lesson

Don't get out the scissors and cut off your eyebrow.

Because eyebrows take a really long time to grow back.

And until it does, you will look ridiculous.

Life Lesson

If you chase your brother up and down the sidewalk while wearing pink cowboy boots...wear socks.

Or else you will get big blisters on your feet.

And they hurt like a mutha.